Divorce Conflicts


John felt his world was caving in when Sheila left him.  She had an internet romance that John didn’t know anything about until she moved out. “What about our kids? Is she gone for good?”

Sally could barely stand to continue to live with Bob after they decided to divorce.  “I bet he’s reading my emails, and I know he’s listening to my phone messages, checking my cell calls, and reading my mail.  I don’t have any privacy at all.  He comes over without calling first, especially if I have a guest.  When will this harassment end?”
John and Cindy thought they would have an amicable divorce, but neither knew what the other wanted.  When John found out Cindy wanted both lake cottages, he felt that was unfair.  When Cindy learned that John wanted their boat, she was furious.  “We’ll never see eye-to-eye.”
These couples decided to try divorce mediation.  The neutral mediator sat down with each couple, and listed the topics to be decided.  Each issue was evaluated, and options were generated, with the husband and wife reaching an agreement that both can live with.  By having a third party there to ensure civility, John and Sheila were able to plan their parenting, as well as divide their assets fairly.  Sally and Bob agreed on a set of privacy rules that helped to lower their animosity.  John and Cindy were able to reach a workable agreement that both could live with. 
Mediation works because the focus is on finding an agreement that the other will accept as well–on mutually deciding the future of finances and children, while promoting respect for each other.  Becoming an effective co-parenting team through mediation is a reachable goal.  A court battle breeds the opposite behavior, with life-long consequences for the families experiencing an adversarial divorce.  Some divorcing couples in Indiana have spent over $100,000 in attorneys’ fees without resolving their underlying issues.  Children benefit from having parents work together to become an effective co-parenting team emotionally and financially. 
Splitting up can be very difficult, and involve many unanticipated complications.  But because divorce is hard, we are here to help you.